I say potato, you think Vichyssoise. Let’s talk.

In my 10+ years of managing projects, teams and client expectations, I’ve come to the conclusion that the most common threat to the success of relationships and projects is simple lack of communication. Why simple? Because usually the simplest misunderstanding at the outset of an engagement is where it all starts to skid downhill.

For example, if I were to tell you that I am making you a cake, you might imagine your favorite hand crafted, multi-layered rum/strawberry/chocolate/banana/meringue masterpiece. I, on the other hand, might have only primitive baking skills and plan to make you a cake out of a box. I will, however, make that cake fancy and visually appealing by using vanilla cake mix and food coloring to make every other layer orange and pink, and I will probably use store-bought chocolate frosting to make the colored layers a surprise. And I will think that I have made you a seriously nifty cake while you will probably be disgusted and disappointed.

The onus is on me to explain what I mean by cake, and to ask you if that matches your expectations. You have the responsibility of asking me to clarify details (Will the frosting be butter or cream cheese? Will there be frosting at all?) and, if my clarification doesn’t describe a solution that meets your needs, you should speak up and ask for something different.

This type of misunderstanding and opportunity for clarification happens constantly in all aspects of life, and can result in both humorous as well as painful conundrums. Ultimately, though, it all comes down to making sure you are addressing your audience in their language, which includes confirming that shared understanding exists (or not), and asking what might seem like ridiculously basic questions with seemingly obvious answers. More often than not, those simple questions will expose varying perspectives, and that is the time to hammer out the details so, moving forward, everyone shares common expectations of the end result. Whether you’re a client or a service provider, when something seems flagrantly obvious to you, that is your cue to explore whether the other party subscribes to the same flavor of obvious as you do.

Oh, and don’t ever ask me to make you a cake, but I do make a wicked yummy baklava, the kind with walnuts (not pistachios) and either orange blossom water or rose water, whichever you prefer.