I think you're a good person, but I can't be with you. I have to break up. Sure 2007 was a fun year, galloping around the estate with that thick scent of delicious coffee in our hair and eager for the new dawn of a dark roast. We had some good times. The Techni Vorm label made me feel European too and I tried to embrace it, I really did. Its not you, its me.
It wasn't easy with your friend, Virtuoso, the coffee grinder. He never made it simple for us. I don't think he ever really accepted me. What was up with that static electricity? It let forth a brilliant shower of charged coffee grounds after each use. I'm mean really, how can he expect to keep someone around? Sure his sleek exterior and large bean reservoir would make anyone grin, but I've got to think of myself sometimes, I have to ask, what's in this for me? It was just too much of a mess to clean up after every grinding session.
Mocha Master, why did you start spilling over? At first, I was willing to blame it on the other people you saw. There were several accounts sent around on how to properly make coffee. But time and time again, you spilled when no one was looking. The final straw was when you spilled yesterday for me. It was me Mocha Master! I was here all alone with you and yet you forsake me. How could you do it? You know the level of coffee grounds in there was well within the accepted norms. Somehow you clogged up and spilled over the counter just like all of the times before. I have to give you up.
Hello Mr. Coffee, its been a while. I know I've been a bad friend and traipsing all over the coffee producing regions of the globe with my European friend, but its over, I swear.
I see you've gotten some new buttons and they look great, all shiny and in different colors. I've even started using a carafe so you don't need to worry about burning the coffee and ruining the flavor.
Oh, and hello little grinder! How have you been? I sure do miss you. Sure, you're from Starbucks, but that's ok. You're a good little guy and you don't have any static electricity. We love large machines and small machines alike. Sometimes you're abused and blamed for a mess, but its far and few between and I know you mean well. You can't fight gravity! Plus, you can grind your beans in 10 seconds flat. I'm going to enjoy seeing you around.
Mr. Coffee, I want you to know that I'm ready to get down to work and you won't have to worry about any more whimsical adventures from me. We have a simple agreement in place; you make coffee and I'll drink it. We don't need any drama in our lives around this matter and neither of us wants a high maintenance relationship. I'm glad you were willing to come back. I love you Mr. Coffee.